DAT ASS... NO

 Booties.

 We all have them. Some people have athletic looking butts: muscular and firm. Some people have model butts: perfectly shaped and firm. Some have no butts, just a flat surface below their back with an abyss-like crack down it. Some have bubble butts bubble bubble bubble butts. And some look like they have elephant cheeks attached to their back side. 

 Alas, there is a reason to this somewhat reason-less topic. I just want to give a quick shoutout to the young man in the white SUV that screamed "Ass!" when I was walking home after school.

 So this "Ass!" comment really threw me off at first, because at the time I was thinking about the movie Sinister that I watched a few weeks ago *note to self: never watch or talk about that movie again*. So when the car sped by me, and the comment was made, it scared me, so I jumped about 10 feet in the air.

 Okay, I have to admit... I first thought that the comment was a compliment. I was pretty flattered. And then I thought about it, turned around and looked at my "butt" and laughed, "Oh Sydney, this isn't a compliment. Those boys were just plain making fun of your butt."

 While sulking during the rest of the walk home, I started questioning the world around me. Okay so I understand that different males have different things that they look for in a girl, but come on. What even is sexy about a butt? You make poop out of them. There is nothing suggestive let alone sexual about butts what so ever. Is poop sexy? Yeah, I didn't think so.

 Back to the analysis: 

One cannot make fun of an ass when there is no ass present.

 girl code.

 So, for you boys that decide you want to make a cat-call or if your just trying to be a smart ass, make sure that you can physically see rolls of booty on a girl before calling her out on it. Because then a girl will try to stick out her butt and will walk around like a turtle with a shrunken shell. Either that or she'd reply, "What butt?" (cough cough, just don't do it)

  Moral of the entire post: 

 Bubble butt bubble bubble bubble butt.

 I don't even know anymore.