FEELING SENSUAL

A request from a demanding empress.

 YOU. Take that smile of your face. Stop pretending that the world revolves around you for a second. I want you to look at me. Not just a brief glance. I want you to look at me curiously. I want you to wonder, "Who is she?" "Wow, she is so beautiful." "I wish I knew her."

 I want you to take me aside after class and I want you to introduce yourself to me. I want to tell you my name, and I want to see the corners of your lips curl up in your cute smile. 

 I want you to buy me Flaming Hot Cheetos and I want to rant to you about how impossible it is for me to eat them. And I'd like it if you'd laugh at me for being cliché or even take my side in the argument. 

 I want to go on an awkward first date with you and see a cheesy Romantic Comedy and have dinner at the Ruby's and watch the ice skaters from the window that overlooks the ice rink. I want to share french fries with you. I want you to walk me up to my door look me straight into my eyes and kiss me with your soft, pouting lips. 

 I want to have a moment where we are both so caught up into kissing that I rip off your shirt and trace my fingers down the creases of your V-line as you suck my neck. We both will know that it would leave a hickey, but we wouldn't care. When my hands reach just below the hem of your jeans, I'll run my fingers up your abs as you whisper how much you love me in my ear. And then I'd kiss you on your god damn face and run my fingers through your sun-bleached hair.

 I want you to introduce me to your friends and casually put your tan arm around my shoulders. I want you to kiss my cheek at the most random times. Or when you'd see me walking you'd run up from behind and slide your fingers into mine interlacing each other. 

 I want you to buy me flowers.

 I want you to whisper love words into my ear as when we are cuddling because we'd be such an immature bunch. And your blue eyes would sparkle after every syllable. And I would giggle like a stupid girl as dumb as that sounds.

 I want you to be mine. 

 "The problem with love is that you can love whoever you want. But so can they."

HOE HOE HOE

 You know when you just get so pissed at someone...

 I don't know why this is just so accurate, it just is.

A LIL SAD

 Everyone come to my house and cry with me.

-Sydney ):

WAITING FOR PAOLO TO MAKE ME A PRINCESS

 I dunno if any of you have seen this before, but I saw this and I shredded tears of joy.

                (it's probably old news to all of you, but seriously how fucking accurate is this?!)

current moods:

 someone go make me something to eat

wait, but i'm fat 

mom, i don't want to go outside. i'm too ugly

i'm not bluffing, madonna's on steroids. 

...HIT ME BABEH ONE MORE TYME.

why did brian griffin die on us

i don't want to do homework

i want to spell my name with llamas

that guy in one of my classes is insanely hot

^*drools*

y'all can kiss my ass

jk come over here and give me a big hug

dylan obrien should propose to be already

nom nom nom nom nom nom

seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

foooooooooooooooooooood

mofo

how do you all even bear with me?

kisses.

QUEEN SYDNEY

First of all, it's almost the best day of the week:

franco friday.

IF I WERE QUEEN:

I. James Franco would rule next to me um because look at that face. Adorable screams from it.

II. School would start around 1:00 PM and will end promptly at 6:30. 

III. You can wear whatever you want at school, but if it's a little too much, you will wear a sign that has an arrow pointing to you reading "SKANK ALERT." 

IV. There will be no such thing as homecoming queen. Because there is only one queen, and that's me. Sorry.

V. (I know this is kind of typical) but once a week, a selected group of girls would get to go on a trip to any mall they want, go to any store they want, and they can take anything they want. For free. It would be kind of like that movie The Purge. Except it won't have all the creepy/gory parts.

this actually creeped me out the entire time I made it.

VI. All of the cutest boys will be sent up to my mansion to come have a mandatory "conference" with me.

VII. Teachers will only be hired if they are sympathetic and understanding. If they say they are and I get complaints they are to be fired immediately. 

VIII. Cheaters will be banished to a remote, deserted island where they would have to fight to survive. They asked for it...

IX. It's ok if you take something from someone, but if you take something from me, you will be sent to the dungeon. 

X. Group projects will be outlawed. 

XI. Disney Channel would have a "Throwback Thursday" where they would just play old Disney shows all day. Popcorn and sour patch kids will be delivered to every house.

XII. If a girl is seen with a ridiculously stupid-looking bun on the top of her head, it is to be chopped off immediately.  And I quote the great Jenna Marbles:

Preach.

And lastly:

XIII. On my birthday, all of the kind citizens will bake me a gigantic cake. Don't worry, I'll supply everything needed. The whole day will be dedicated to everyone eating cake and having fun and giving presents to one another. It would just be a fucking happy day. Almost as good as Christmas.

 Ya that's it. 

*mwah*

NOSTALGIA

  Dear Anchovy Boy,

 How are you? I certainly hope you are well. It has been such a long time since we've last talked. How long has it been? About 5 months? Wow.

 I really miss seeing you around school. And I just miss pretty much everything about you. The way that you would sit and listen "attentively" to the teacher with your shoulders hunched forward. Your legs were so incredibly long that they could've slid under just not my desk but even the desk in front of me. I have always liked the way that your hair would fall lazily over your eyes and the way that you would have to brush it out of the way with a shake of your head. Que bueno.

 Maybe I should tell you about the first time I actually got to know you. It was a while ago. I remember that Amy and I sat behind you. I thought you were sososo cute. I was only 12, so of course (like every other 12 year old girl) I denied my feelings and started to make fun of you. That's when I came up with your nickname: Anchovy Boy. Because apparently to my 12 year old self, you looked like a fish. Oh Amy, Nicole, and I made many creative nicknames for you. There was "Le Derp" (courtesy of Amy, herself), "Fishy", and (lol your going to get a kick out of this) "That Boy That Makes Me Look Like A Babbling Idiot". So even though you thought that I hated you at first, YOU WERE FOOLED, FOOL! Hahaha.

 It was a year after that where I found myself very attracted to you. Social Studies was my favorite class in the world, considering we were always sitting relatively close to another. All I really remember is that our conversations were cut very short. When we were having quaint discussions about Napoleon Bonaparte or Ulysses S. Grant, someone (most commonly another of your crazed fan-girls) would come up and give you an annoying distracting. A distraction from not just the assignment, but for me too.

 There was also that time that you showed up to my softball game. I was extremely surprised to see you there. So surprised, that for the first 5 pitches, I couldn't even through a strike (talk about humiliating) It was very cool of you to stick around and cheer me on anyhow. I think that you made that game one of my favorite games that I've ever played in (even though we lost like 17-1, yikes).

 It was so great at the beginning of that year. We talked everyday. I could always make you laugh and you made feel feel complete bliss. A beautiful nirvana.

 I wonder what turned this around.

 One day, you just decided that my jokes weren't funny anymore. Our conversations went about as far as "Hi" and then soon nothing at all. I never again caught your lingering stare. You didn't come to anymore of my softball games.

 You just started hanging out with the popular kids. And you began to talk to many different girls. And you were placed in a seat farther away from me. You didn't even step into the MPR at the school dance. And at graduation even though we were standing practically right next to another, you decided to walk 15 people ahead and talk to people you met only a couple weeks prior.

 What happened? Was I just not that important anymore?

 That's not even the most cruel part. The most cruel part to end this tragedy was that you actually got me to fall in love with you. So now every time I go back to thoughts about Middle School your face always pops up. You just don't even understand, so let me spell it out for you: I LOVED YOU ANCHOVY BOY. I really did. And I wish that you could've said something and didn't just leave me hanging by myself. It's all because of you that I don't believe in love. It is! You tricked me! It was all a joke!

*breaths*

 Oh, Anchovy. Too bad all of that crap had to happen. Sometimes I wish I could go back and think about what happened. I honestly do.

 Well, I'm done crying about you (as cheesy as that sounds) so I'm just going to try to move on from you and all of the crap that you put me through.

 I just have one question.

 If nothing was even official, why does it still hurt so much?

 This is an attempt at goodbye.

 I say attempt because obviously I cannot let go. Because every time your face comes across my mind I go though a period of

















Nostalgia.



















Love, Sydney

I WAS RIGHT

 Juliet did in fact have big breasts. And all the boys in 0 period English can admit it.

 We get that you have such luminous bosoms. We didn't need to actually see them to get that, you little slut.

  What I did notice while watching a segment of the movie today was that Shakespeare never really made a scene where Romeo actually snuck into our girl Juliet's room. You know, the night of intimate actions. If he did right a scene for it, this is probably how it would go:

 INTERPRETATION OF THE BEDROOM SCENE (What Shakespeare failed to add):

by Sydney Tody

(it's even written in ionic pentameter for you. Ya, I'm that good)

Romeo: Oh see the light that does reach from her room.

              I feel excitement spread through a prick.

              Give heed! There stands my lady by her broom

Juliet: With thy stick, I am to show of work. Ick.

           It's my lord! Come Romeo up the wall!

           He thinks it's me, oh come up fast and quick! 

           Oh do be careful my husband, Don't fall.

           But hurry, for methinks I'll lose my wit!

Romeo: I cometh thou fair sun, and here so I am.

             Your cleavage so full, I cannot look away. 

             Fine thy shall look bereft of these mere cloths, damn. I liked the way this line sounded, it doesn't really work..

             Come wife, hold me. I do wish I could stay. 

             I feel alive, dancing with pants full of ants.

Juliet: We shalt need no more talk! OFF WITH THY PANTS! 

Continue play. lol sex.

No need for an applause, I just want to be the one to say I told you so.